The Lou Dobbs Award for Shameless Opportunism

So there I am last Friday, on vacation, sitting with my lovely wife in a bar about 100 yards from the beach on Grand Cayman. Temperature in the low 80s, sun starting to set over the clear blue-green ocean waters. Thoughts of upcoming snorkeling trip (see right) make me happy. A warm tropical breeze is blowing through my hair as I drink my second (third? fifth?) glass of the local rum/pineapple/coconut concoction.* I am relaxed, and (not coincidentally) education policy is far from my mind.

Then I glance at the television hanging above the bar, and what do I see? CNN, and the regularly scheduled broadcast of "Lou Dobbs Hates Foreign People." Lou is talking about high school graduation rates for Latino students.

My shoulders tense. Hard-won relaxation drains away. Quickly, I beckon to the bartender, a deeply-tanned ex-pat Australian scuba diver named Nigel, for a third (seventh?) concoction. But it's too late.

Lou explains to his audience that because the borders are broken, our great nation is being overrun by illegal Mexican immigrants who are overwhelming our hospitals by selling computer technology to the Chinese, who then outsource IT jobs to Bangalore, which inevitably leaves us vulnerable to infiltration by Al Qaeda agents entering the country in uninspected shipping containers arriving at foreign-owned ports. This can be proved by the fact that the nationwide Hispanic high school graduation rate is barely 50%.

Lou's mostly right on this last point--on-time Hispanic high school graduation rates are much too low. He just didn't bother to mention that most of those Hispanic students aren't immigrants, illegal or otherwise, or that graduation rates for black students are equally low. Or that these numbers were bad long before the current wave of immigration. (For some more actual data on education and immigration, see this month's Charts You Can Trust).

But in briefly entering the education arena in pursuit of another, non-education agenda, Lou isn't breaking any new ground. This kind of thing unfortunately happens all the time. From creationism and school prayer to sex education and "self-esteem instruction," people with all manner of axes to grind use the public schools as a convenient forum for other cultural and societal debates.

Thus, we at the The Quick and The Ed are hereby instituting the "Lou Dobbs Award for Shameless Opportunism," given to people who thoughtlessly wade into education policy debates for reasons that have nothing to do with actually helping students or improving schools. Nominations for future awards are welcome.

*Concoction Recipe:
2,3, or 4 parts dark Caribbean rum (depending on circumstances, i.e. need to counteract effects of Dobbsian television broadcasts)
4 parts pineapple juice
1 part cream of coconut
1 part orange juice
Serve over ice, top with shavings of fresh nutmeg